


The Big Little Merman

by nyxfury



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Little Mermaid (1989)
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M, Genderbending, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2020-07-20 14:44:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19993927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxfury/pseuds/nyxfury
Summary: Draco Malfoy suddenly finds himself thrust as the leading man in the gender bended wizard play adaptation of a muggle story, The Little Mermaid. How did it come to be this way and who’s slated to play the female lead? (Hint: Hermione)





	1. Setting the Stage

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fiction in a decade, my palms are sweating. This is also not beta-d so apologies for any mistakes and errors. They are my own.
> 
> Feedback is very welcome <3 Share and spread the love. I hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Your comments will make my day, week, year!

_I’m a…Merman?_ **  
**

Draco stared in disbelief at the letter that arrived from the Ministry’s HR Department. Skimming it repeatedly, his eyes kept refocusing on the words _“you’re being cast as Prince Ariel the Little Merman”_ and “ _performing live in a theatre production for the Ministry’s Christmas Charity Spectacular”_.

He blinked once, blinked twice, hoping to have misread what it said. He desperately wanted to believe that this was all a nightmare and that he’ll be waking from it soon. Anytime now. 

_Hello Merlin, mercy?_ He silently pleaded to no one.

“It can’t be that bad…can it?” echoed Finnigans’ apprehensive voice from the other half of their shared office.

A feeling of dread decided to settle in the pit of his stomach. Quirking an eyebrow, Draco gestured to Finnigans’ own unopened missive, encouraging him to read for himself.

Just as the brunette reached for his letter, the door suddenly opened with a loud ‘bang!’ followed by the entrance of Blaise Zabini. 

“Merlin, what were those bloody idiots thinking!”, Blaise declared, flailing his own letter in the air.

“I would rather hand in my resignation than play along with this. Pun intended.”he scoffed, unceremoniously plopping himself down in the vacant seat provided for clients in front of Draco’s desk.

“Yes, well. You and everyone else in the team I presume”, Draco replied coolly, rubbing his temples in an attempt to ease the growing ache in his head. The intensity is slowly escalating itself to a migraine.

“I assume you’ve already read the ridiculous list they’ve required of us.”sneered Blaise, arms crossed. “Thoughts?” he asked, slumping himself gradually in the uncomfortable chair, obviously devastated by their predicament. It was a rare sight seeing Blaise so uncomposed in public.

Which also, in Blaise lingo, translated to: _How do we fucking get away from this?_

Draco shrugged. He had a few ideas but none that would let them get away unscathed. The stipulations were airtight. Blaise knew that, thus his miserable state. 

A glance at the suddenly very quiet and pale Finnigan staring at his own missive was clear indication of the distress they’re all currently in. Specifically the three people currently in the room.

“We’ll find a loophole, bring it up to Potter, and deal with it.”He sighed defeatedly, already having decided that it would be more pragmatic to focus on completing his remaining case files for the day. He’ll worry about dealing with the situation afterwards.

Poised to continue the discussion, Blaise was interrupted by three knocks and Harry Potter’s head (also currently Auror Department’s head) popping in the half way opened door.

 _Well, speak of the devil and he shall come._ Draco thought amusedly. 

“Oh, good. Great. Zabini, you’re here as well.” Potter grinned widely, remaining at the door with only his head visible.

“Just wanted to quickly pop in to inform everyone that I will be receiving no resignations and complaints about HR’s letter. The letter is final and has already been sent to press.”he chortled.

“To further circumvent any future protests, I’ll have you reminded that your team was ‘volunteered’ to represent the Auror Department after losing the last Quidditch pick up match. As Head of the Department, I thank you for your service. Have a great day!”, he cheerily announced and left as quickly as he came.

“How can resignation be off the table!? We don’t even need a job!” exclaimed Blaise in all his indignant glory.

“Speak for yourself.” piped in Finnigan, finally snapping out of his focused trance. “It’s not like you lost the game alone.” he glared at Zabini and Malfoy.

“No, Malfoy lost it all alone for us when he failed to catch the snitch before Harry did.”deadpanned Weasley, quietly letting himself in and sitting his sulking self in front of Seamus’ desk, eyeing Draco meaningfully.

 _Who knew he’d be a sneaky bastard?_ Draco wondered, startled at Ron Weasley’s stealth entrance but not surprised. They were Aurors after all.

“There’s no ‘i’ in team, Weasley. It was a lost cause to begin with. We were doomed to fail.”sighed Draco as he surmised that his productivity for the day just shutdown as his teammates - not by choice - wallowed in misery around him.

No other person more than Draco Malfoy felt the gravity of how doomed to fail they were that day. Spotting the snitch 50 minutes into the game with Potter at the opposite end of the pitch, he was suddenly distracted by a vision of white. 

The moment Hermione Granger showed up in her white sundress, he unexpectedly felt attacked by an onslaught of unfiltered…feelings. It wasn’t like it was the first time he saw Granger in years. But there she was and all he felt compelled to do was stare. 

Not long after, Potter caught the snitch right under his nose and before he knew it, the game was over.

Closing the case files on his desk, he released another heavy sigh. The feelings of dread dissipated and only defeated acceptance remained.

“Suppose we could all use a drink then.” he suggested as the hour hand indicated ten more minutes to six in the evening. 

“I can only take so much of three grown men sulking before I hex one of you.”, he grumbled. Ten more minutes and they could drag their sorry arses to the Leaky Cauldron for a few drinks to soothe their egos and prepare them for the worst. 

Only unbeknown to them, the worst is yet to come.


	2. The Plan is Afoot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interlude: a look into the backstory of the machinations and ulterior motives in the creation of the play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that it's been a long period after publishing the first chapter. Real life just happens sometimes. This is unbeta-d so all mistakes are mine.

**"Ginevra Molly Weasley Potter!!"** fumed Hermione Granger with her shrillest impression of a banshee as she barrelled into the redheads’ office.

 **"I take it you received your letter."** nodded Ginny, keeping her gaze focused on the document she was working on. With a final flourish of dotting a few more i's and t's, she re-slotted her quill in its' holder, steepled her fingers together and took her sweet time shifting her gaze slowly to look at Hermione. Her expression remained stoic but her eyes held a scheming twinkle. She gestured to the guest chair, inviting Hermione to take a seat. 

Huffing at the redheads' calm composure, Hermione closed the office door and sat on the opposite chair out of spite. She liked to indulge in being petty when she was in a mood. And she was feeling particularly irritated with the redhead right now.

Ginny rolled her eyes, ignoring the childish behaviour. She was a mother after all and Hermione was acting like her 2 year old son on a tantrum.

 **"What is the meaning of this?"** Hermione clipped, waving the letter in the air in annoyance. Her initial fury deflated a little, simmering into mild anger. She crossed her arms and levelled a glare at the redhead.

 **"Well, Hermione, I imagine it would've been self-explanatory really. You broached the idea, I floated it to my boss, the HR Department head. He loved it, being half-blood himself. And now we're working on making it a reality."** Ginny explained patronisingly.

 **"You know what I'm asking Ginny. I suggested the play because I thought it would be a hilarious consequence for the losing team. I never imagined nor wanted to be part of it!"** she protested, waving her hands in emphasis. **"Now explain why I'm finding myself cast as one of the leading characters and playing opposite Malfoy as his romantic interest!"**

 **"Ah and therein lies your answer."** sing-songed Ginny, suggestively raising her eyebrows up and down.

 **"Ginny!"** , Hermione spouted indignantly.

 **"Hermione!"** mocked Ginny. 

**"When will you finally admit that you find the man devastatingly attractive?"** the redhead asked, leaning back in her chair and staring pointedly at her friend. She had a suspicion that her friend was carrying a torch for the blond scion. She's never confronted Hermione about it until she felt sure that it was reciprocated. After observing both of them dance around each other for months, she's grown impatient that neither was doing anything to pursue the mutual attraction.

Clarity dawned on the brightest witch of their age as she realized Ginny's true motives. **"Ginevra, if this is in any way related to you insisting on dolling me up for the pick up match, or that time you insisted I wear...I swear to Merlin that..that…"** she fumbled, suddenly feeling flustered. Her lower abdomen felt like it was tying itself in endless knots. **"Argh! Self care my arse."** she uncharacteristically exclaimed in frustration, throwing her arms in the air as she stood and walked towards the only window in the small office. She was feeling a little betrayed. Hermione Granger did not often feel backed into a corner. So she settled on some distance as she contemplated on the newfound perspective, completely missing Ginny's small triumphant smile.

 _Finally, progress! A semblance of acknowledgement_. Ginny happily sighed, patiently waiting for Hermione to process her emotions.

 **"I didn't ask you to play matchmaker."** Hermione declared indignantly after a few beats of silence. The urge to escape the anxiety inducing conversation felt strong and she was on the verge of bolting.

 **"Doesn't mean I can't live vicariously through you and appreciate fine wine."** Ginny quipped.

Hermione stared at her friend. **"You're married."**

 **"Yes and a few years in matrimony can make life predictable."** Ginny waved her hand dismissively. **"So you're not denying it."** she stated more as a fact than a question.

 **"If you've come to that conclusion then my struggle to understand what this is must've been terribly obvious."** she sighed, shoulders slumped as she found her way back to her chair.

 **"But the self care campaign, Ginny? Really?"** Hermione asked incredulously.

 **"It killed two birds with one stone."** the redhead shrugged, looking smug and unrepentant.

 **"To be perfectly candid, I don't know what this is I have with Malfoy. Or that if there even is anything at all."** the brunette confessed. **"There's just been so much going on. He just broke off a long engagement for Merlin's sake!"**

 **"Hermione,"** Ginny paused dramatically, **"you're probably the only person in this Universe who considers a year and a half as something recent." Ginny pointed out. "Also, no one would've judge either of you if you started dating right after his engagement dissolved. In fact, half the Wizarding World assumed you'd be married with Malfoy's babies by now!"** the redhead exclaimed.

Hermione responded with a pointed glare.

 **"Ok, maybe that was a gross exaggeration."** Ginny conceded.

Before the conversation could go on, they were suddenly interrupted by another person barrelling through Ginny’s office in exasperation.

 **“Ginny, what the hell!?”** exclaimed one very flabbergasted husband, waving a missive similar to the one the brunette flourished earlier.

 **“Alright, I’ve had it with everyone storming into my office today. Have all of you left your manners at home and forgot to knock like a decent person?”** , declared the redhead more to herself than anyone in particular.

 **“Let me guess, you’ve also been casted for the play.”** the brunette addressed Harry, who was still standing in askance as the door behind him was left wide open.

Noticing a few onlookers gathering and remembering where they were, Harry closed the door so as not to attract more attention.

 **“Well, yes. But I don’t understand why since our team won the pick up match! Hermione was supposed to be the only addition outside the losing team.”** he huffed.

 **“Harry James Potter, please tell me that you and your wife aren’t actively trying to meddle in my love life!”** , Hermione demanded, arms akimbo.

The bespectacled Auror had the decency to look chagrined as he stared at Ginny, silently begging for rescue as he realized his Freudian slip. The redhead’s only response was a wide-eyed stare, non-verbally replying that he was on his own.

Then there was silence.

Hermione sighed resignedly, **“At least tell me that your scheming hasn’t gone beyond you two.”**

The married couple’s silent debate with their staring told her more than enough than she needed to know.

**“Oh Merlin, who else is in this ploy and why am I only finding out now?”**

~o~

**“Malfoy, drinks are on you since it’s technically your fault we’re in a pickle right now.”** declared Ronald Weasley as he plopped himself on a seat and signalled for a server. 

Draco already expected as much since he initiated the invite. But the gangly redhead chose a table for a larger group than their current party so he felt the need to clarify, **“Expecting more company, Weasley?”**

 **“Yeah, I’ve invited Harry and Dean. Apparently, my sister’s gone mental and casted them in the play! They’re out for blood. We’re all on the same team now.”** he casually replied after ordering a round for everyone.

Draco is unsurprised by the development. The production will be a charity event after all and it’s only logical to include the Boy Who Died Twice and Lived to ensure that the tickets will sell out. It would also follow that the last member of the Golden Trio be included to complete the ensemble and seal the deal with the sales. Thus, he finds himself curious if she’s been casted as well.

He sipped his firewhiskey, feeling the smooth satisfying warmth of the liquid spread through his system. 

Harry Potter and Dean Thomas arrived and settled themselves. Blaise immediately declared that Potter got what he deserved after being so smug earlier that day. Everyone, excluding Malfoy, went into a heated discussion about the ridiculous stipulations included in the production.

 **“How can they demand us to be fit and have defined abs to play shirtless Mermen!? I’m an Auror but pushing paper doesn’t require exercise!”** , Seamus tearfully exclaimed as he nursed his pint in one hand and his slight but definitely there beer belly in the other.

 **“Hear hear!”** , Thomas chimed in support as he raised his own pint.

The conversation remained rowdy in the background as Draco stayed silent and in deep contemplation. A few more sips of his drink and he felt confident that Granger’s been casted in the play. Slowly, he found his mood shifting from dread to anticipation for the coming weeks.

Blaise never missed a beat and was perceptive enough to notice that the blonde finally put two and two together. Deciding that it was the right moment to sow the seeds, he executed his play.

 **“Speaking of fit, I noticed that Granger’s been looking really fit recently. Doesn’t she Draco?”** he asked the blonde point blank.

Unprepared to be addressed after staying silent for most of the night, Draco decided to just nod in agreement and completely missed Blaise signalling Weasley to take his cue. 

**“That she does. I blame you for losing us the match Malfoy but I don’t blame you for getting distracted. She was especially lush during the pick up match.”** Weasley unexpectedly mooned.

The blonde felt confused as he bluntly questioned, **“Hasn’t that ship sailed years ago, Weasley?”**

 **“It has. But I’ve been re-thinking our relationship recently. I feel like it may be time to try again.”** the redhead wolfishly replied as he polished his drink and signalled for another.

Seamus patted Weasley on the back in solidarity as Harry declared his support for the redhead’s declaration; as did everyone else in the table save for the blonde.

Draco never wore his heart on his sleeve but he was unable to mask the brief flash of hostility that overtook his features before schooling it back to nonchalance. The sudden and intense protectiveness he felt over Granger after Weasley’s declaration startled him. In his distraction, he failed to notice the silent triumphant look everyone shared. 

Blaise silently praised himself for a job well done as he watched his friend internally brood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far! I'd love to hear some feedback from readers if you can spare some time. Hope you enjoyed it!


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